Thanks to all who came to the parenting party/potluck from last week.
It was amazing and I know I'm already seeing good results from the
great advice you ladies voiced.
*** A nice wooden spoon, a
pink/green sippy cup with handles and some spiderman sunglasses were
left at my house. Are they yours?***** melissa dot lee dot spencer at
gmail dot com
To re-cap on the highlights, I'm putting a
little bullet list below of some suggested ideas that were discussed
(sorry this is a novel!);
1. In addition to "self maintenance
chores" (making your bed, brushing your teeth, keeping your room clean,
taking your dishes to the sink), assign each child one additional chore
that helps out the entire family (dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc.)
See the very bottom of this email for my chore rotation list.
2.
Little ones can help sort laundry, dust, unload the dishwasher, make
their beds, etc. Do it with them and train them until they're good at
it themselves.
3. Having "training" sessions where
you're teaching your kids a new chore. You'll have to revisit these
steps every so often. Perfection comes with practice and time. Praise
their work ethic more than their skills at first.
4. For
allowances, suggest that the kids set a goal for what they're wanting
to save and then help them remember this goal at trips to the store.
Some families give $1 per year of age/month (ex. a 9 year old earns
$9/month) starting around age 4 or 5... Or you could try $0.50 per year
of age per week (a 9 year old would earn $18 a month). You'll have to
play with the numbers to see what works with your kids. Some families
do more and require that birthday gifts for friends come out of their
own money ($10 minimum gift with a $20 reserve in their savings as a
minimum.) Some families reward kids for saving by an "interest" payment
quarterly, some "loan" money to their kids at ridiculous interest rates
to teach the pitfalls of credit. You can require that a set amount be
put towards long term savings, short term spending and tithing to teach
money management.
5. Offer "money chores" to supplement
the allowance. Again, each family's numbers will be different. The
principle is that you want to teach your kids to work and if they have
ample amounts of money then they'll be less inclined to want to work
hard to save up for things. Here's a example of some "money chores" I
make available at my house (along with their very modest rates...) Fold
& put away laundry: $4, Scrub the barstools down: $1/chair,
weeding: $1/set area (based on skill level), Scrub down the refrigerator
(outside and in): $8, Organize drawers: varies based on the size of the
drawer and it's disaster status. The sky is really the limit in what
I'll offer to my kids for money chores. If they come to me saying they
want some more money I'll generally give them a list of 4 or 5 things on
my own to-do list at the moment.
6. Creative parenting;
see Sacha B's spot on Pintrest for ideas- for kids who stick their
tongues out at others, they must sit in the corner and keep their tongue
stuck out for X minutes, for arms that hit, that arm must go in time
out (belt or tape it to their body for X minutes)
7. Self confidence comes from being able to do things for yourself (not necessarily from sports, instruments or school work)
8.
Emphasize the words "I'm so proud of how hard you worked" rather than
"You're so smart or talented". A study found that telling your kids you
were proud of them inspired greater success than just telling them you
thought they were good.
9. Another good motivating
phrase is "I love seeing you....(read), (dance), (Play the piano), (work
hard), (Keep your room clean.)
10. Find your child's
motivation (or something they're passionate about) and use that as their
"currency" to motivate them in chores and other areas.
11. Christine G. suggested a great idea that has been working wonders
at my own house this week- restrict breakfast until their room is tidy
and they're dressed. Genius!
12. Have a weekly meeting
on Sunday with each child (mom or dad) and have it be an opportunity for
candid discussion. Ask specific questions about areas of morality with
your kids too.
13. Have a monthly "date" for each child
with either Mom or Dad- builds love, trust and good memories. They do
not have to be expensive.
14. Have a birds/bees talk
with your child by the time they're 8 years old. Continue to keep it an
open channel of communication by discussing it frequently- revisit the
idea as your kids grow each year.
I'm copying below my
kid's chore chart rotation that a few of you asked for. Don't judge-
it's not perfect and areas of our house do get missed every so often...
If you want to do something similar I suggest you make a list of the
chores that you want done at your house each week and then divvy them
out based on skill level. Amy H's idea was cool too- write all these
chores down on their own popsicle stick and then pull out several at a
time and set them on the table. Then everyone can pick one, do the
chore, then come back and grab another one. This is awesome because it
encourages quick working so you're not left with the undesirable
chores....
January, April, July, October
Lily
M- clean kids bathtub with ajax
T- kids bathroom toilet, sink, mirror
W- sweep kitchen
Th- sanitize door knobs & light switches
F- dust, wipe moldings in dining room, piano room & TV room
S- vacuum upstairs & stairs
Corinne
M- clean back door glass, dust
T- clean downstairs bathroom toilet, sink & mirror
W- sweep under the kitchen table
Th- wipe moldings in all bedrooms
F- clean parent’s shower with ajax
S- wipe moldings in upstairs & downstairs halls
Henry
M- clean parent’s bathroom toilet, sink & mirror
T- sweep under the Island, wipe moldings in 3 bathrooms
W- dust, clean big bathtub OR downstairs shower as needed with ajax
Th- take out trashes & recycling
F- bring in trash & recycling bin, clean back door glass
S- clean downstairs toilet, sink & mirror
February, May, August, November
Lily
M- clean back door glass
T- sweep front step, clean front door glass
W- Sweep ALL tile in house
Th- wipe moldings down in 3 rooms or halls, different from the week before
F- clean downstairs bathroom toilet, sink & mirror
S- vacuum upstairs & downstairs
Corinne
M- clean downstairs bathroom toilet, sink & mirror
T- Dust
W- mop ALL tile in house
Th- take out trashes & recycling
F- bring in trash & recycling bin, clean parent’s toilet, sink & mirror
S- sweep front doorstep of leaves, clean front door glass
Henry
M- wipe moldings in all bedrooms
T- clean kids’ bathroom toilet, sink & mirror
W- sanitize door knobs & light switches
Th-clean backdoor glass
F- Dust
S- sweep under the island
March, June, September & December
Lily
M- clean parents toilet & sink
T- sweep under table, mop kitchen & dining rooms
W- dust, clean parents mirror
Th- collect all trashes & recycling, take out to bin
F- Bring in big trash can & recycling bin
S- Vacuum downstairs, sweep under table
Corinne
M- clean kids toilet &sink
T- sweep kitchen & bathrooms, mop bathrooms entryway & laundryroom
W- clean kids mirror, sanitize doorknobs & lightswitches
Th- clean back door glass
F- clean kids sink
S- dust, vacuum stairs, sweep kitchen
Henry
M- sweep front doorstep, clean back door glass
T- Sweep laundry room & entryway
W- Clean downstairs toilet, sink & mirror
Th- sweep under the island
F- clean front door glass
S- clean downstairs toilet & sink
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